ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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