WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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