if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
