She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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