One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
