We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize