the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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