I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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