Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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