Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize