thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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