I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We left the knife in your bed.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
