Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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