i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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