they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We're too hungover to prance.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
