Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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