I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
