Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize