franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
