We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
