Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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