what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
