Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
