New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We are all done wearing pants today
I need a beard to bite.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize