I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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