I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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