Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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