Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dignity is for republicans.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize