We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
