u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
