Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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