he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
