I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize