Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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