I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
