it was like having sex with a tree stump
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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