last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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