So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
