I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
