Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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