i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
