Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
