if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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