Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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