We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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