ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
