I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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