How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
