Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
