did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
