i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
