I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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