alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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