Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
