the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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