At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
