Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
