Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
