yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
