I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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