I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
