who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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