Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Drake has all the answers
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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