it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
