Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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