At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was so not down for the gang bang
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
