im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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