went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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