Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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