I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
handjob tips. give me some.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
