No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
