You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize