The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
