she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
