Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
