he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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