A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
