I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
