absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
